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This is for all you Collis mongers out there who only hang out in the Novack Cafe or do your homework on the Green because everyone else is doing it. Get a little freaking variety in your life, sac up, and explore... here 10 ideas to get the ball rolling: 10. Bartlett Hall— not only is this large red building behind Reed Hall hidden from view by many trees, it also hides the best paper writing venue on campus, the Language Lab. Sixteen fast computers (including four flat-screen PCs) and an over-the-counter printer you can grab your documents off of right after they print, the language lab has everything you need to write better papers. But more importantly than that, Bartlett Hall has the best bathroom stalls on campus. Bestowed with light from a heavenly-placed skylight, one feels as though God himself is smiling down on you while you're dropping a deuce. With all white decor, it is quite angelic to say the least. 9. Balch Hill— Dartmouth's version of Fast Times at Ridgemont High's "The Point," Balch hill is a five-minute drive past Alumni Gym and KKG on Wheelock Street and has a nighttime view of Baker Tower that could get anyone in Mother Theresa's pants (or habit, as it may be). Take that special someone up there and enjoy the view—and the companionship. 8. The roof of Theta Delta Chi— Much like Balch Hill, this elevated point offers a fantastic view, though this one is of Vermont and the Connecticut River. While it isn't AS conducive to hooking up as Balch, some lip-locking has been known to go on up there, and there is no better place to throw a guitar off of... trust me. 7. The old squash courts in Alumni Gym— these bastions of athletic excellence are located on the third floor behind the West Gym basketball courts and above the Manley Varsity Weight Room. Once there you are secluded from everyone, which means an anything-goes game of squash: shirts off, foul language, racquet throwing, etc. Squash itself is a release, but playing here is cathartic, despite the shabbily-kept courts. 6. Sachem Field on a Fall Saturday— this time of year at this location only means one thing, rugby. That's right, there is no better place to watch a sporting event than Sachem, especially one where drinking on the sidelines is encouraged, as is heckling the opposing team only five feet away from you. It isn't uncommon for one of the visting meatheads to attack a fan, but it is uncommon to leave the game sober. I wouldn't be surprised if the rugby games outdrew the football games some Saturdays this past Fall. 5. Brace Commons Snack Bar— you ever been really hungry late on a Wednesday night for any reason (wink, wink)? If you have, you know the feeling of wanting to rip the door off of its hinges at East Wheelock's Brace Commons just to get your hands on the last one of those bagel pizzas or french toast sticks. The service is often horrible, though sometimes cute and on Rollerblades, but it just adds to the ambiance and debauchery. 4. Jones Media Center— the only good thing the College has done in my four years here. Get this, there you can go rent DVDs for free like Scarface and Star Wars as well as look at old microfiche of Playboy magazine. What a deal. Plus, there you can watch TV with your own headphones while doing work. DVDs, TV, porn... did the librarians read my mind? 3. The IM Softball Fields— mesh fencing, gravel basepaths, twenty dudes (either drunk, or groggy from being drunk) playing the great American game—lazy man style. Some great plays are made, some bad plays are made, and, because you pitch to yourself, some big hits are made. Everyone looks forward to IM softball. 2. West Lebanon (anywhere in...)— no other place on the planet has more 15-year-old kids in imitation football jerseys smoking cigarettes while pushing baby strollers. Everytime one drives there you see a different adolescent combination doing something wierd like walking a cat on a leash, or rolling a tire down the street... pure comedy. Also, West Leb is home to any sort of civilization that we are used to from our hometowns like Walmart or Pizza Slut. Finally... 1. Poison Ivy in the Collis Basement— countless nights I've spent down there just dancing the night aw—who the hell am I kidding? That place sucks, they should turn it back into the pool hall and arcade, at least I went there once. Jesus, this place might be the worst place ever. I can't even describe how stupid it is... I'm out. I'll see you next week. |
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